During the Christmas season I see parent after parent saying "oh, it is just for the children." Most parents don't have what it takes to stand up to the guilt foisted on them to think this through and do the right thing for the children. Just as Hitler knew that most people wouldn't have the grapes to stand up to his authority and do the right thing, most people have no spine when it truly comes to standing up for their deepest values. Hitler counted on this tendancy to the point where people, good people, went forth and killed their fellow man with all manner of vile machinations.
I have no doubt that most Germans in 1939 were basically good people. As well, most parents are good and want the best for their children. What they can't battle is the flaw in their ethical principles; altruism which allows authority figures to shove us around and steal our values. Altruism allows us to rationalize all manner of destruction of our values - up to and including killing. This prevents parents from being honest in an intellectual way. Freethinking parents have to deal with this flaw in order to be fully enlightened guides to their children. Parents have lots of jobs regarding their children, but two jobs stand out above all others; Keep them safe and prepare them for life. By prepare I mean have them capable of coping, plus have them able to pursue life fully so they can embrace prosperity, love and all that makes life worth living.
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People have to tell their children the truth. There is no substitute for honesty and no matter difficult it is to tell the truth, no matter what the situation! There is no rationalizing lies. Children are more resillient than we imagine and can handle anything, and I mean anything we tell them - no exceptions. We may have to be very careful, diplomatic and thoughtful at a level we are not used to or capable of but we have to be honest. If you are having trouble talking to your children about this or that, ask a professional, but go through with it. If you don't feel capable of doing this it is time to start reading, studying and talking to professionals so your skill level rises to a level that you feel competent. Parenting is the most important job you will ever take on so you need to increase your knowledge to a level you can do it competently. Anything you tell yourself to rationalize not doing so is just laziness. A lot of bad parenting is just laziness.
If we want children who can competently handle reality when they finally go on their own then we must demonstrate intellectual honesty. If we want them to trust their judgement, and be self leading, self guiding adults we must trust them with the truth from the beginning. Children can still be innocent, joyful, and filled with imagination and wonder AND STILL BE TOLD THE TRUTH. Innocence, childlike imagination, fun and wonder are critical to the healthy development of a child's psychological well being, I'm not saying treat them like adults. But with knowing the honest truth a child can, with the parent's help, accept reality. A child can know the darker sides of existence with the love and support of parents without losing all the things that make a kid a kid.
So what do children deserve? They deserve us doing all we can to prepare them for the real world. Children who are not prepared, children who have been over-insulated from reality will have more problems with life than those who are properly prepared. It all starts with trust, openess and profound honesty, applied with gentleness, love and knowledge. If you don't feel competent to do this with your children you owe it to them to read, study and talk to professionals so you have the knowledge base to improve your parenting skills. Don't let your children suffer from your laziness in parenting. Today's world is increasingly complex, dark and hard to understand - even for parents, but hiding it from your children is not the answer and will not serve them well in adulthood.
Here is a critical interview of a parent who left religion.
http://www.atheistalliance.org/family_issues/int-2002_july.html